Scots Porridge beyond the breakfast rules

Samuel Johnson found room in his English dictionary to have a dig at the Scots over breakfast. In 1755, he described oats as a grain generally given to horses in England but eaten by people in Scotland. Scottish households had good reason to depend on them, because oats suited the growing conditions and provided a filling meal. I wonder what Johnson would have made of visitors now asking for porridge, then having to decide whether they want it with milk, water, cream, honey or fruit. He might have needed a longer definition.

My grandmother introduced me to porridge with milk and sugar, which was her way of persuading a fussy grandson to eat something hot on a cold winter’s day. I can still picture the Scott’s Porage Oats packet and the kilted Highlander getting ready to put the shot, although I knew very little about what went into the saucepan. It was only later that I discovered how much difference the oats make. Pinhead oatmeal is cut into small pieces, finer grades are milled further, and rolled oats are steamed and flattened to cook more quickly. With coarser oatmeal, soaking it overnight can save some time in the morning, but you can make a perfectly respectable breakfast without remembering to start it before you go to bed.

If you want to find out how seriously people take those differences, have a look at the World Porridge Making Championships in Carrbridge. Competitors seeking the traditional title work with oatmeal, water and salt, which sounds straightforward until you consider how much depends on getting the texture and cooking right. The winner receives the Golden Spurtle, named after the wooden stick used to stir porridge. My grandmother’s milk and sugar would have ruled her out, although I doubt she would have been much bothered about a championship while trying to get me to eat. There’s also a speciality category, where competitors have considerably more freedom to see what they can do with their oats.

I’d put in a word here for Ollie at The Garvault House, Britain’s most remote hotel, whose banana porridge makes a persuasive breakfast before a day travelling through the Flow Country. A Swiss chef encouraging people to try his version of porridge adds another voice to a conversation the Scots have been having for a very long time. I’m happy to hear what somebody recommends, particularly if they’re the person standing over the saucepan, but knowing which oats and ingredients they use gives you a better idea of what will arrive in the bowl. In the blogcast, we’ll look at why the milk once came in a separate bowl and how the direction you stirred could bring luck into the kitchen.

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